"water off a duck's back http://t.co/ZNbi1yVm" - 3 hours ago
"Distracted in East Hampton Starbucks - Besides me, two women draped in beige designer layered outfits, have... http://t.co/vGg5uYOr" - 9 hours ago
"On a(nother) rainy morning in East Hampton, I turn to Adam Curtis http://t.co/Yk5enb86" - 10 hours ago
Jetlag hasn??t troubled us overly this year, but on this hot Wednesday morning in Perth we found ourselves fairly and squarely in The Twilight Zone. As usual Bart and me ended up in bed together; Mike had his own suite upstairs at Chateau Stokes, of course. Both The Gaffer and I started to make movements towards our packs, to get suited up suitably for the day ahead. Pyjamas off, golf shirts and shorts on. Only was something wasn??t quite right. I had a Matrix Moment.
Looking back at Bartos I asked him why we??d got up; hard the alarm actually gone off? He looked at his watch and saw it was 6.20am ?? the iPhone wasn??t scheduled to disturb our coma until 0800 hours. Ha! We??d obviously just taken it as given from the other??s movements that It Was Time To Rise. Back to bed then... Goldy burst through our door some half an hour later, and found us dozing away fully (golf) clothed. He too thought we were running late, and that it must be time to get up. I explained what had happened, and that he too had got himself confused. So y??er man buzzed off and we all snatched a crucial extra hour of shut eye. Much drool found its way onto my pillow (sorry Mrs. Stokes!).
Over breakfast with Ned & Georgia we weren??t much chat, but did our best. Each of us looked worse than the other ?? like we??d been on a 72 hour bender in Vegas and not held back one bit. How encouraging it was though that I summoned the coordination to get the cornflakes from the bowl into my mouth. Without falling asleep while the spoon was half way through its journey north.
Today??s golf was not your ordinary affair either. Sam Hartrick a chief champ boss captain skipper from the Aussie PGA ?? who??d helped us out with a game or two earlier in the year around Melbourne ?? dropped us a note a few days back. Want to play in the Australian Seniors Open Pro Am at Royal Perth on Thursday lads? Why not... ??Fresh? after a 3am landing we found ourselves at the golf club around 8 hours later. There we met Sam in person for the first time; had a chat with Channel 10 for a news piece; and spotted a few legends of the game on the putting green (Lyle, Torrance, Woosie, Chook Fowler, Terry Giles, etc). Oh, and it was 38 degrees Celsius.
Baker Finch was on the microphone inside talking to a gathering of adoring lady fans. Granted, for an Australian, he has a rather endearing brogue. When he was hitting balls on the range next to me some 15 minutes later though I didn??t feel the need to tell him so. (Pardon me: I should say, when I was hitting balls next to him...). Nor did I ask him about his careless misplacement of The Plot after the heights of his success. No folks I just watched with interest and an ounce or two of admiration as he pelted a few iron shots down the way.
Unusually Michael and me were split up ?? which both of us with the best of intentions would say made for a nice change. I was teamed up with Terry Giles ?? West Australian farmer turned legend of golf ?? and a couple of tremendous humans named Tim and Keith I can only assume by their respective parents. Tim being a sales guy for Avis Car Rentals (a sponsor) and Keith being a Wakefielder who has made his home in Queenstown of all places. Terry also had a formiddable caddy in the form of Val, a member at Royal Perth and from what I could gather a very competent golfer more or less of his vintage. In typical ??Strayan fashion he flirted the whole way around with Val by showering her with false abuse. Funny creatures these ??Strayans.
In the heat we did the best we could. Which didn??t happen to be that good. I too was having a good old tussle with the 626 million flies that had found their way from the desert to Royal Perth courtesy of the hot East Wind. Giving it the Perth Wave an?? aw that. My new friends seemed to be amused by my epic struggle ?? noting that this was a pretty mild day on the fly front ?? but I took no notice of their ridicule and concentrated on the battle at hand. Apparently these particular flies are especially fond of moisture too (go figure), so they go straight for moist areas like your mouth and eyes. Excellent.
The course itself was tighter than most Wellington law clerks, which I can assure you is very tight indeed. Having just spent a week in the deserts of Dubai and Abu Dhabi ?? where there are no trees ?? this was something of a shock. Mediocre shots were punished more punitively than very poor ones, in the sense that going a fairway either side of the correct one wasn??t necessarily the end of the world. It was all academic though because we played an Irish Stableford (take the best tee shot of the bunch and play out from there, taking the two best scores each hole). While Tim, Keith and I peppered the gums Terry would step up and deliver another gun barrel straight blow. He even appeared bored by his straightness, almost as if he longed to hit an errant shot. Either that or in his head he was cursing at having been paired with such a thicket of talentless nitwits. It takes a while to gauge Terry I found, but after a while (i.e. once you feel comfortable enough to start slagging him off) he lowers his guard. When he laughed at a shanked 9 iron I hit on one of the par 3s I knew we were friends...
Ned very kindly walked around the course and offered words of encouragement (it would have been hard for him to offer words of congratulations...). Amazingly he got sick of watching us play after a hole or two, and instead chose instead to watch hackers like Woosnam and Torrance embarrass themselves. Word is Woosie was looking good. But the answer is Melville...Alfie Melville, of course.
After a delightful few hours in the company of my new friends I found myself under the comforting shade of the clubhouse deck. Cold beer and deli snacks were being served up to an ever growing contingent of sun battered golfers. We chatted some more; surveyed the talent; and managed to escape before the dreaded prizegiving and accompanying speeches got under way. Result.
One big thank you must to go Sammy Hartrick and Royal Perth for allowing us the privilege of lowering the tone at the Pro Am. Ditto to Ned for being good enough to, well, feed us, house us, ferry us around, and not laugh at our golf. And a personal thank you to my playing partners for being such good company despite my jetlagged state of consciousness. ??Twas indeed a grand (albeit blurry) episode of puregolf2010.
Georgia then made the best cheesecake ever made, which we demolished without hesitation out on the deck under the Fremantle evening sun. Not bad ay?
JP
It is a privilege to be able to write about our day at Royal St Georges as day 301 of puregolf was one of the very best days in a year of great days of golf.
Our day began with a 2 minute drive from the Dormy House at RCP across the private road demanding a 6 quid toll which, I think, if you??re off to the golf course you needn??t worry about. But, of course, a 2 minute drive across narrow country roads becomes more like 10 when you??re stuck behind a tractor and the postie. Wonder if they have to pay the toll as well?
Upon arrival two gentlemen were waiting by the clubhouse for the kiwis to straggle on in, the tanks engine blaring like a lawnmower ruining the serenity of this links land such that the secretary almost had to come out to tell us to shut up.
Our two hosts today were of the Lucifer clan and go by the names of Paul Mitchell & Bertie Shotten. Both men were incredibly welcoming to us and a huge thank you to them for having us here. Being lucifers, they both have connections with Commonwealth countries and both chaps are heading out to New Zealand in the new year for the annual Lucifer tour. After todays hospitality we??ve got quite the task at hand to reciprocate in Wellington! Paul??s Lucifer connection is particularly strong. Follow carefully - his wife is the sister of the wife of Peter Costain our host from Rye. The father in law of both Peter and Paul is now ??The Senior lucifer?? and at the age of 99 I believe has only recently hung up his sticks.
So into the clubhouse we went where we changed our shoes, but first inspected the rich tapestry of golfing history that drips from the walls of this traditional and elegant clubhouse. Many an Open Championship have been held here and famous names such as Walter Hagen, Bobby Locke, Sandy Lyle and my childhood golfing hero Greg Norman, feature.
Without getting too carried away with the memorabilia out we went to tackle the course on a fresh but clear day with Bart kindly on my bag and also on the camera taking the imposing challenge of photographing this links off our hands. But don't get me wrong I think Bart was, along with all four of us, like a pig in mud just walking around this hallowed links land.
The match was laid down, Bertie and I taking on Paul and JP in a foresomes match. From the outset it seemed like this was more of a ??golfers club?? than some we have visited of late. Both Paul and Bertie were both incredibly proud of their golf course and were both fairly competitive golfers. I??d need to do more research but I wouldn??t be surprised if St Georges had a high proportion of members who really know how to hold a club ?? a bit like Pine Valley. So despite playing a foresomes, for the entire round each shot was talked through and generally well thought out and we all got a great look at the course. Throughout the round the craic flowed and both Paul and Bertie had a fantastic warmth about them. I??m sure that most members of RSG are ??upper-crust?? but these lads were down to earth, very supportive of our quest and really good fun!
I am now going to unashamedly talk about the Royal St Georges golf course which is the best golf course in England and is the host of the next Open Championship. For those not interested in the golf, feel free to skip this part and go back to your latte and find another procrastination tool to get you through your morning at work. For those golf lovers, please read on.
First, the flags. They are cool. The St Georges cross stands out on a small white flag, making depth perception difficult but most crucially being as distinctive as the big greens of The Old Course.
[the old coal fired power station in the background which is now too costly to remove because of asbestos]
Early on the round the class of RSG makes itself known. After a strong start you stand on the 4th tee with some of the most ghastly bunkers eyeing you right in the face. Legend goes that Robert Allenby failed to clear the sand during the 2003 Open here and took 3 shots to get out en route to making a quintuple bogey 9. I know Robert is a reader of our blog (yeah right) so, for his sake, there is a friendly reminder about his favourite bunker below.
The par fours at RSG as a grouping stand out. Numbers 2 and 4 require immense drives which can, played well, set up a birdie opportunity. The 5th hole is a fantastic hole where the green is nestled behind the dunes leaving a blind second if you don??t place your drive well. On the 5th Vijay (surely downwind) took aim 35 degrees left of the sane man and bombed it over the dunes and some 400 yards onto the green. The 5th hole is pictured below.
Taking a pause from the fantastic par fours, the front nine is bisected by the signature hole, ??the Maiden??. A par three nestled amongst the dunes and surrounded by bunkers and, like a maiden, a pleasure on the eye. The Maiden used to be a blind hole played over the sand dunes, but RSG has adapted and there are now very few blind holes ?? a feature which pleases the R&A and the professional golfers as opposed to the more ??quirky?? traditional courses that have remained the same (i.e., Prestwick). The ??Maiden?? is pictured below.
There are only a couple of par fives on the course. The first long hole (the 7th) JP hit a remarkable shot, yet to be seen in 301 days of consecutive golf, when he holed out from the bunker some 25 yards away by hitting the top of the flag and riding the flagstick down into the cup on the fly. That gets the adrenaline pumping. Lucky for he and Paul, that was for the half (in birdies) after y??er man Bertie had left me a mere 220 yards for my second shot in. The second par five is the famous 14th and, along with JP??s celebrations, is pictured below. The suez canal plays alongside the boundary by Princes with O.B. staring you in the face all the way down the right hand side, a burn at driving distance, and bunkers everywhere. I gave an offering to the Princes rough from the tee, leaving Bertie displeased and stopping our run of quite a few consecutive pars, whilst JP and Paul played signature golf to take the hole. I look forward to seeing how many of the pro??s succumb to the OB next year when the wind is howling from the left.
Back to the par fours in the middle of the round, which, for me, turned a good golf course into a truly great one. You see, this course is not a traditional out and back style links and throughout the entire round the wind is constantly hurtling at you from all directions. Add to this the constantly challenging green complexes on the 8th, 9th, 10th,12th and 13th holes and you walk off from that stretch truly impressed. Both the 9th and 10th holes are the type that make you stand there, wedge in hand, hoping for the life of you that you can keep it on the green and be spared the task of trying to get up and down. The 12th and 13th holes could on a good day seem like simple birdie chances yet on a bad day ruin your round completely. And the stroke one 8th is sublime. I??ve photographed a couple of these holes and they are below.
[one of the most written about holes on the course the par four, stroke 1 index, 8th hole. The green is off in the distance between Bart and Bert and protected by both bunkers & dunes]
[Paul on the par four 9th hole]
[12 - one of my favourite mid length par fours. If you can drive it over the ridge it's an easy wedge onto the green. If not, you need to exhibit some local knowledge like Bertie did!]
[The 16th. A par three where Thomas Bjorn famously lost the Open in 2003 from the bunker on the right (hidden, but right next to the pin)].
The round finishes with a incredibly strong par four lined with bunkers but which is like ??links stadium golf? because of the wide expanse along the fairway and green for the grandstands to go. It will have great atmosphere next year and Paul and Bertie, as club members, will have the best seat in the house as stewards on the 18th.
Into the clubhouse the RSG experience continued to improve as the tankards of beer came out and we were entertained by not only Bertie and Paul but by the senior Lucifer Fergus and his mate Robin ?? two accountants who had qualified many moons ago. Fergus, an incredibly lucid chap, shared with us about his life running the family company including during his time in the South of Ireland where he had great time but missed RSG. We had a sparkling lunch, meeting not only members but visitors who were out to play the future host of the Open. The visitors were chatting with the members in the sprig bar and we were introduced to a couple of Japanese businessmen out from the city. Of course, our day finished with the customary Kummel, pints of the stuff no less which brings me to my closing plea. The Wolfschmidt brand of kummel is closing down and I know many a golfer who would be keen to invest in this company and continue to supply the golf clubs of the UK. I??ve googled it without luck ?? anyone know anything about the Austrian spirits trade?
A three page essay on RSG later I??m sure that no amount of writing can do this day justice. So for those who have made it this far down I??ll leave it that, but to again put a huge thank you out to both Paul and Bertie and the entire Lucifer clan for entertaining us during a week of golf that will be forever etched into the memory.
Chisholm Park
12 holes bart cape kidnappers christchurch christmas doak ed bayley hawke's bay heretaunga jane poole napier golf club new zealand puregolf2010 rangiora rarangi gc royal royal wellington the first tee the interislander waiohiki
