The Kent Mission has been a much anticipated one. After the heathland interlude that has been the past few weeks, it was with great enthusiasm that we returned to the links. After four months of bumping and running, fescue has become our natural habitat; and a happy habitat it??s been at that. With the triumvirate of Royal Cinque Ports, Prince??s and Royal St Georges lying within a stone??s throw of one another this little slice of England had always been on our radar. Having Rye only an hour away over in East Sussex only served to multiply the magnetic pull. Four days to savour.
There was nearly a monumental balls up on my part but one Mark Chaplin ?? our fairy godfather ?? came to the rescue. You see we??d had a couple of invitations throughout the year to RCP, one of which I thought we??d locked in when in fact we hadn??t. Oops. So just a few days out I spot the mishap and scratch my head with fervent self loathing. Twit. As it happens though, Mark has come upon our website; seen we??re scheduled to play Deal on Monday (RCP??s colloquial name, taken from the town it borders); and enquired who our host was. I explain the situation and Mark rectifies it:
Jamie, I have put you down to play at 1030 as guests of the club... If you arrange to arrive around 0945 I will ensure you are met and taken care of...not sure if I can get down on the day, will try my best. You will meet Richard Craven the new captain who drives in this Sunday...and senior past Captain Findlay Gordon an R&A member and regular visitor to NZ. Your luncheon account will be on me. Mark
Absolute gentleman. Fortunately Mark did make it down so we were able to thank him in person. He??d taken the train down from Tumbridge ?? an hour or so away ?? to meet us, and to walk around for a few holes...before heading up into London for a meeting with Scotland yard (he??s a policeman). Now if that??s not hospitality I don??t know what is. Not only that either. Over coffee in the bar Mark asks us where we??re staying while down in Kent, and upon hearing that we??ve got a gap on Wednesday night he jacks up a stay in the dormy house for us too. The sort of guy who??d give the shirt off his back to anyone ?? ATTENTION New Zealand: when Mark Chaplin comes across please make sure that he is extended every thinkable courtesy and as many unthinkable ones as possible too.
Incidentally ?? the Captain??s driving in? I assumed Richard had spent the summer elsewhere, and was literally driving back to Deal to take up his post. And so naturally I asked Richard ??where have you driven in from??. Of course, ??driving in? in this context means hitting a tee shot down the 1st hole to ceremonially mark the commencement of one??s tenure. In this case with a white hot golf ball fresh from the oven (they go further). Now I know. Muppet.
It was a crisp blue morning, the light darting in sideways from the low winter sun. The only visible clouds were homeonimbus (i.e. our breath). Findlay and Richard looked like they??d just robbed the Pringle factory, wrapped up in a dozen wooly sweaters. Findlay??s top layer looked as if it had been handed down through the generations and had the saggy appearance of being freshly pulled from the sea. Richard??s top layer (a V neck) was on backwards in what looked like a cunning ploy to keep his throat warm.
The Skipper and I were paired together to take on Young Goldstein and the Weegie (Findlay hails from Glasgow). Deal like the other traditional clubs down ??ere is a 2 ball club on most occasions, certainly on Mondays. I think green fee paying visitors can play a fourball on certain days. Our last game of foursomes was up at Muirfield some months ago, so we were looking forward to having another bite at the cherry. It adds colour to the game. Right away The Good Captain revealed himself to be an excellent putter, wielding a blade like instrument that??s no doubt lived across three centuries to devastating effect. Y??er man Faxon wouldn??t dare take this chap on for a bob on the putting green.
The course sits below the sea wall and is the southernmost of the links triumvirate of the Kentish coast ?? Royal St. Georges being next door and Prince??s immediately beyond. Indeed out at the turn you??re closer to the St Georges clubhouse than you are to the RCP one. The golf cognoscenti among you will know that Deal held The Open Championship back in 1920, so it??s one of The Fourteen.
Richard and Findlay were quite a pair; tremendous company. Findlay very Scottish (he even worked for DC Thompson in Dundee for a spell, before he had to move on because there was no longer a woman in the office whose company he hadn??t enjoyed! Which he won??t thank me for mentioning). Richard was very English (down the 18th I loved his utterance, ??now come on Richard, let??s hit something rather juicy?). Quote of the day must have been his instruction to me on one of the (down wind short) par 3s: ??Jamie, I want to see you hit a firm wedge here with plenty of munch on it.? Munch!
In the smart room upstairs we were looked after like kings by the lovely Laura. A hearty lunch avec dessert (Eton Mess, no less) was inhaled around a large round table in the bay window. Richard and Findlay had a couple of half baked bottles of vino left over from Richard??s driving in. Or that was their story anyway ?? I think they??ve always got a bottle handy for a wee tipple. Being sociable characters and all.
Perhaps the highlight of the day was Story Time. Findlay produced the club scrap book, an ancient looking beast jam packed with good humour and the odd newspaper clipping of a successful member (notably Karen Stupples, who hails from RCP and who won the Weetbix Women??s Open a few years back at Sunningdale). One of the better letters was one Findlay wrote as the then Captain to The First Admiral of The Sea, concerning a member whom Findlay hoped would be called away to sea rather than being able to attend a club function. But the best one for mine anyway was An Absolute Stomper.
An eccentric and revered past Captain of the club is one Major David Morris, and he had a dog named Badger who accompanied him around the course frequently. Now, as y??all know the English golfscape has struck as being hugely dog friendly. Not so with Deal. Permission to take your hound out on course comes and goes here, apparently. Badger must have been defecating in the wrong spots, because the good Major received a letter from the Secretary asking that he desist from keeping Badger??s company on course, on account of the mess he was making. Naturally Badger himself penned a response, that went something like this (I emphasise the ??something? because I don??t have the letter in front of me...):
??Dear Sir,
I take exception to your assertion that my behaviour has been unbecoming of a Deal member... Over the past twelve years I estimate that I have walked some six thousand miles around the links, and that I??ve supported the half way house to the tune of seven hundred sausages...
Your sincerely
Badger Morris?
No one writes letters like this these days, it seems. And what a shame too. I salute you Badger (Major David) Morris for your wit, and commitment to the club. And I thank Richard, Findlay, Ken, Mark and Laura for making our RCP experience a delightful one. Will be back. With bells on.
JP
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