Lessons in Banana Peeling at Caves Valley

Posted by Jamie on 26 June 2010 | 0 Comments | Tags: Caves Valley, Baltimore, Fazio

The title for this blog is a little unorthodox, as you may have noticed.  But the pearl of wisdom handed down to me by our good host Doug Lane was just too good not to dwell upon.  Most people �?? in fact everyone I know �?? peel a banana from the top, by tearing at the stalky bit.  That however is not how the experts (monkeys) do it.  Nope.  They pinch the little bulbous part at the bottom, allowing the skin to split open perfectly.  After millennia of peeling bananas for breakfast, lunch and dinner, I�??m sure they know what they�??re doing.  Doug certainly does, and now so do I.  Please indulge me and try it next time.

Anyway.  From Today�??s Lesson to a veritable feast of luxury and fine golf at Caves Valley, near Baltimore.  The club has an interesting genesis, which is worth sharing.  (Doug will have to pardon me if any of the details have been lost or mutated in translation).  Some years ago a group of businessmen in the Baltimore area wanted a place where they could come out to to do business (from memory it wasn�??t so easy getting into Baltimore Country Club).  So they pulled their money; bought 800 acres of prime land 20 minutes out of town; and brought a certain Tom Fazio in to build them a course they could be proud of.  The clubhouse is an old family mansion �?? which is quite something, but I�??ll get to that soon �?? and the pro shop the old out house.  Very stately stuff.

This would be one of the more expensive places to join.  Indeed to get an invitation to join you need to be an active member of the local business community and, well, be able to afford it.  I guess some guys get their company to foot the bill, but often that would be a misnomer as these type of guys oftentimes own their companies anyway!  You get the picture.  At one stage the initiation fee was $120,000 (which at least got you equity at the time, although I understand a lesser fee is no paid for no equity) - no drop in the ocean no sir.  Talking about money however is unseemly though so I�??ll move swiftly on.

Doug Lane was our generous host for the day, and what a fine example of a human he is too.  I hope he won�??t mind me sharing a few discreet details of his Good Self �?? Doug, if you do, let me know quickly and I�??ll pull this down!  Born into a working class family of Quite A Few, he wasn�??t your archetypal born-to-be-a-member-of-a-top-private-club kinda kid.  But he worked his posterior off and continues to do so.  Doug went to night school to get his college degree and is now in the more enviable position of being able to pay for his 3 kids to go through good schools �?? something he rightly takes great satisfaction in being able to do.  Another interesting note on Doug: he is or was a whippit.  Ran a 1 minute 56 seconds half mile.  And a 30 minutes 30 seconds 10,000 metres.  Anyway that�??s Doug in a very small nutshell �?? a kinder human you couldn�??t meet; and an interesting guy to have dinner with.

Our instructions were to turn up well in advance of our 12.40 tee time to meet Doug for a quick bite.  After the pleasantries we were shown to the dining room, at which point I nearly died.   Having not had breakfast I was famished, and the sight of the Caves Valley buffet spread was almost enough to draw a tear.   Goodness gracious it was good.  I remember sitting there like Oliver Twist trying to hold a proper conversation with Doug while at the same time trying not to choke on my feast.  I inhaled it.

The heat outside was quite merciless, as it has been for some weeks now.  Near suffocating in fact.  Nothing a good walk wouldn�??t fix though.  That�??s something I particularly liked about Caves �?? it�??s walking only, and you�??ve got to take a caddie.  No carts unless you�??re over a hundred or have one functioning limb.  My caddie, Adam, was great �?? a young guy (I say young but he was probably a few years older than me) about to embark on a legal career after sitting the Maryland Bar Exam in a few weeks.  Poor sod.  No I don�??t mean that.  Just finished college with a law degree and an MBA, which he did concurrently �?? so no slouch.  If he reads in law as well as he reads greens he�??ll have quite a career.  Saved me a shot or two, for sure.  (The other caddie Serg was quality also �?? and did quite possibly the best Scottish accent impression I�??ve ever heard, notwithstanding that he�??s never been there and doesn�??t have any Scottish friends or relatives!).

Caves is a very fine track indeed.  It really gets better as you progress through the round, and could perhaps do with a few renovations to the opening stretch (which I found a little straightforward, at least relative to the rest of the layout).  Holes like 9 were just awesome.  In fact 9 thru 11 form in my humble opinion the best stretch on the track.  On 9 you better have your game face on.  A long par 4 tracking up to the right, with a narrow stream (befitting of the description as a �??burn�?�) flowing across the front of the fairway and all the way up the right.  The green is two tiered and guarded militantly.  Definitely one of the better holes I remember playing in recent times.  

10�??s a goodie too; this time a risk reward short par 4, where it�??s really all about the tee shot.  Hit a driver if you like, but you better get hold of it or risk having a downhill lie for your 60 yard pitch to a plateau green on steroids.  It�??s at this point in the round that I turned to tobacco for solace.  Doug offered me a big stogie and having not had one for quite some time I couldn�??t refuse.  Seemed befitting of the occasion, you know.  So I sparked up this brown thing the length of my arm, and wandered down the fairway between gargantuan oaks, breathing it all in.  Quite a sensation, believe me.

11 is intimidating and beautiful and tough and just one of those holes that you like playing.  Raised tee shot plays to a dogleg right fairway, up to a severely raised green.  If you crush driver (from the tips) you can hit something like 7 or 8 iron in; but if you have anything more than that in your hand then it�??s dam near impossible to bring the ball high enough to stop it (notwithstanding the backstop at the back of the green).  A hair raising hole, and one any sane golfer should be pleased with par on.

I must mention the conditioning.  In a word, sublime.  Thankfully we played on the day prior to The Member Guest event, which was a nice coincidence, the course as a result being prepared to its brilliant best.  Fastest greens all year, without a doubt.  Even faster than The CC of Virginia a few days back, which were scary enough.  Fairways were carpet like, and everything was just as it should be.  A privilege to experience, really.

The Match came down the 18th, as it has had a tendency to do of late.  After Mike hit a missile of a short iron into the green �?? which like 18 at Olympic has bags of atmosphere �?? to 6 feet (then missed), I had 5 feet down the hill for par after getting into the front bunker.  That putt would�??ve halved the hole and won the match by 1, but I bottled it and honours were even.  Michael and his playing partner (a gigantic ex-basketball player who goes by the name of Shane) took Doug and my money though by virtue of some funny system these chaps have with �??greenies�?� (closest to the pin on a par 3) and �??dots�?� (par out of a bunker) and other strange creatures.  One was particularly memorable, although I don�??t think any of us got one.  It�??s called an Esther [something], who was a famous female swimmer in the 50s.  And it�??s awarded when you make a par after having one ball in the water!

Somewhat exhausted after our ordeal we sat outside the clubhouse on the lawn, at what must be The Nicest Spot Ever.  Big old mansion; big old oak tree; wide open vistas over the practice range and the valley below.  A few tables; a few rocking chairs; and 4 guys having a drink and a cigar after a Great Day.  Couldn�??t ask for better. 

After we got cleaned up Doug then kindly took us to dinner in the dining room, which is a very decadent affair indeed.  Tried softshell crab for the first time �?? not bad at all.  If you�??re ever lucky enough to get an invitation to Caves, and your host offers to take you to dinner, take him up on it; quite something.  Between bites we covered �??most everything from history to politics to a comparative study of life in new Zealand.  A very stimulating evening.

On our way out Doug surprised us again with a very thoughtful gift pack he�??d had the pro put together.  I�??ll be wearing my Caves Valley shirt tomorrow with pride, and each time it comes out of the kit bag this year I�??ll think back to Day 174 with nostalgia.  And I�??ll remember how to peel a banana like the experts do.

Thanks Doug and Shane for a great day.  

JP